So I've been single almost 7 months, I can't believe how fast the time has gone! It feels like it was just yesterday I made the decision to let go of what was no longer serving me. In that time I've felt fear, loneliness, heartbreak and mourned the loss of what I thought was going to be a long and happy relationship. I've looked fear in the face, stood tall and braved the storm that has been an emotional, vulnerable and absolutely freeing experience.
At the beginning there were times I was a mess barely being able to listen to an old favourite song of mine, or unable to go to my favourite restaurant without choking back the tears. I've gone from being so angry at my ex to being at peace and finding forgiveness, to being angry all over again. I've processed, analysed and tried everything I can to push myself through this phase of the breakup and to feel over it so that I can move on. But what I've learned is that I can't force it to go away- not my emotions, not my understanding of what happened and not even my memories.
Everyday I find myself growing, expanding and evolving while learning about life, love and most importantly about myself. For a long time I was trying to change my ex. I wasn't happy with the way he treated me, or what he did in his spare time. We spent a lot of our time disagreeing about things, arguing and trying to force our way of thinking on each other. I was emotional all of the time, I couldn't think straight, my health took a downward spiral and I felt like I had become the worst version of myself. I found it hard to balance all aspects of my life, I didn't make enough time with my girlfriends, my work was suffering and I was trying to establish my health coaching business whilst being in the absolute thick of it in my relationship. For a long time I didn't feel authentic because of the fact that I was trying to hide this dark cloud in my life. I felt like a fraud and I just didn't know what to do.Read More