In a world where we are constantly criticised for sharing our feelings and being vulnerable, it's no wonder that we have become disconnected, dis-empowered and very very unhappy. So many people believe that emotions are 'evil' or that it is a 'beast' that needs to be controlled. But what if we took another perspective and just gave ourselves permission to feel our emotions and let them move through us? What if we just accepted that we have emotions because as humans this is part of what makes us human?
'Never apologise for being sensitive or emotional. Let this be a sign that you've got a big heart and aren't afraid to let others see it. Showing your emotions is a sign of strength.' - Brigette Nicole
If we believed that emotions actually are our friend and not our enemy, the world would be a very different place...
Are you denying your emotions? Here are 3 signs that you are.
1. You feel irritable and on edge more often than not
When we deny or suppress our emotions they get trapped in our body which means that energy is trapped inside of us. We try to suppress our emotions and the energy that it creates which requires even more energy from us to continue to suppress it. It is not sustainable for us to suppress our emotions for long periods of time so what ends up happening is that we become 'leaky' and start to release some of these emotions and energy out. Because we have been suppressing our emotions the energy we 'leak' tends to come out in negative ways because we have been so determined to suppress our emotions! You may find yourself being irritable, on edge or find yourself snapping for no apparent reason. Some people might start to see this as you being crazy, and the more you try to suppress your emotions the more you end of 'leaking' this energy. It becomes a vicious cycle which generally gets worse because you beat yourself up for the way you behave yet you feel you have no control over this. This continues the negative cycle of thoughts in your head which makes you feel yet even worse and no one seems to understand what is wrong with you, not even you. The reality is and I see this so often (and I have too experienced this) you are not crazy, you are not too emotional, you are just NOT expressing your emotions! It's so simple, yet can feel so much harder to express how we feel because we have been brought up to do the very opposite of feel our emotions.
2. You suffer from anxious or depressive thoughts
As mentioned above once you are on track to denying your emotions you create a vicious cycle of negative self talk, people are wondering what is wrong, yet you don't know yourself. You think there is something wrong with you so you start to have depressed thoughts because you feel like there is nothing you can do to feel better. Suddenly the future looks scary and you become anxious because you are trying to control the future. You're not happy with how you're feeling in this moment, so you start to have thoughts about what the future holds. 'Is it going to be like this forever? Am I going to be miserable and unhappy for the rest of my life?' The future looks scary and you don't know what to do, so you try and control everything in your life so that your worst nightmare of being trapped in this negative cycle doesn't come true. But the more you try and control and change your situation, the more anxious you become. You've gone from denying your emotions, to becoming irritable and 'emotionally leaky' to have anxious and depressed thoughts and you feel even more stuck.
3. You have unexplained health issues
Over long periods of time denying our emotions can have serious health consequences on our body. From feeling irritable and 'emotionally leaky' you now get unexplained stomach pains through the day, or frequent headaches and migraines. Maybe like what I experienced you experience chronic pain and chronic fatigue. You've denied and repressed so much pain, anger, sadness and even guilt it has taken a toll on your physical health.
So what now?
Feel your emotions and you will begin the journey of true healing....
If you're in Perth and want to learn more about how to feel your emotions, learn to express them and gain some practical tool and strategies to create emotional wellbeing then come and join me for my Healing Through Feel Course.