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My Journey of Inner Transformation Part 1

January 25, 2016 Jasmin Schult

Most of 2015 for me was about finding myself back home to myself. 2013 and 2014 had been intense, a truly emotional and spiritual awakening time for me. So many old wounds and limiting beliefs came to the surface. For the first time in my life I was gaining clarity into who I truly was and what I wanted from life. It was a roller coaster of a time for me and while I was coming to terms with how and why my life had unfolded the way it had.

In 2013 I had graduated from a profession that I thought I needed to study to get a well paying job that would provide financial and emotional stability in my life. I thought I had arrived at my destination after years of dreaming, studying, wishing and hoping that this job would answer all of my problems. But what I found was an incredibly competitive job market and very little employment opportunities. My ego was shattered, petrified and unable to make sense of the situation I now found myself in. And with the uncertainty of my future and all that I had dreamed would come true, I spent 3 long and difficult months bed ridden filled with anxiety and despair.

It wasn't until I was completely broken open and surrendered to the universe that I saw internal shifts start to manifest in my external world. I started going to workshops, meeting like minded women also passionate about health and wellness and helping others that I was able to recognise all the new possibilities and opportunities that I was experiencing. By the end of 2013 I had enrolled in IIN and in February 2014 I had started my health coaching course.

During the next 12 months, I learned, I absorbed and I filled up my soul with all that I had been searching for. At the time I didn't realise the journey that I had begun, it was a fairly organic and natural process and I just continued to follow what light me up. I was following my curiosities, passions and anything I knew my soul was calling me to experience. Whilst I was on the journey to find my true passion and purpose it was during this time I was also experiencing a lot of emotional pain from my relationship. Things were beginning to unravel and it was becoming harder everyday to ignore my intuition. I felt like I no longer was the person I used to be when we met. Even during the early phases of my transition I was resisting, holding on to and resisting the changes that were unfolding with every fibre of my being. It was because of the struggle, the resistance and the denial I felt that it was a really difficult emotionally draining and heavy experience.

As time went on I found myself starting to live two very different lives. One minute I was drinking green juices, meditating and planning my health coaching business while the next minute I was enjoying fancy dinners, drinking cocktails and dancing the night away with my boyfriend. Whilst I think it is perfectly ok to have a balance and enjoy the best of both worlds, I just felt like the lifestyles were not aligned with the person that I had become. I am still so grateful for all the beautiful, fun and adventurous experiences I got to share with him but unfortunately the number of good days were being heavily outnumbered by the bad. We were on and off trying to make it work, but it just became too painful, heartbreaking and worst of all completely disconnecting from my truth. By the end of 2014 I was burnt out, unable to continue living two lives and at this point I made the decision to end the relationship.

Whilst we spent a few weeks apart, by 2015 we had reconnected and were communicating and loving one another on a whole new and much deeper level. For the first time in my life I had connected to myself on a deeper, more spiritual level and the journey of my transformation had allowed me to open up to greater love. We shared some magical and truly beautiful experiences together, and I finally thought that some how we could make it work.

Unfortunately as the months went by our communication deteriorated significantly and I slipped back into old ways. I clung on to the relationship with fear and anxiety and so the vicious cycle of emotional turmoil began again.I was allowing myself to be treated poorly, with little respect and little commitment.  I couldn't connect the dots between my personal feelings of lack of self worth and the external reality of the relationship. The external experiences that I was manifesting were a huge reflection of my inner world and the constant battle in my mind. I continued to live in denial and resisted everything the universe was trying t communicate to me. That was until I ended up with a broken toe half way through last year. 

At this point I knew something severely needed to change and so again I ended the relationship. We spent the next 6 months and the remainder of 2015 going backwards and forwards and things just became even worse. By December we had lost all ability to communicate and simply weren't willing to listen to each others frustrations. For so long I had tried to stop his pain, to save him from his own problems whilst at the cost of my own health and happiness. I realised that much of last year was a distraction, my ego's unwavering attempt to keep me from my truth and allowing me to live my most authentic life aligned to my values, beliefs and passions.

It's been a truly emotional, deep and spiritual journey for me so far. As I share this with you today there is still a lot of sadness, pain and frustration that I feel for what I have experienced with the breakdown of my relationship. I know with time, self compassion and a whole lot of love and nurturing for myself I know that I will come out the other side a better person, who through my personal journey will be able to help navigate other people through their own transitions.

Please remember this pain, fear of the unknown and the process of difficult change and transition you may also be experiencing is here for your highest self.

Everything happens for you not to you.

This process of change and transition is not linear, defined or perfectly clear all the time., as I have shared from my personal experiences. It is only through making mistakes, falling over and picking ourselves up again that we truly begin to grow and evolve. It is our willingness to choose again that defines the course of our journey and all of the beautiful lessons we are here to learn from life.

Please share with me in the comments below anything that has resonated with you, I would love to hear your thoughts on the process of change and transition.

If you are feeling called to work with me to help you through a difficult change or transition in your life I have just opened up a limited number of 1:1 coaching spots for February. For further information you can find my coaching packages here or you can email me at afeelinglife@gmail.com for further information.

Love Jasmin xx

 

 

 

 

In Breakups, Emotions, Feelings, Relationships, Self Love, Spirituality Tags Relationships, Life lessons
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Hi I'm Jasmin. Relationship and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach based in Perth, WA.

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INSTAGRAM @AFEELINGLIFE

12 months ago I set an intention for myself ✨ to value and honour myself while in the practice of getting intimate with the deepest parts of myself 💜 I've challenged myself to look at all the places in which I was not making self honouring choices. I've set boundaries and goals that have helped shape the life I live now 🙏🏻 One thing I'm deeply passionate about helping women navigate after narcissistic abuse is this idea of really acknowledging and embracing all the parts of ourselves that we have abandoned or rejected ✨ I believe this is one of the key lessons we need to learn when we've been faced with such abuse in relationships. See it was never about the other person, it was always about you coming home to yourself ☺️ This journey is messy, confusing, dark and takes you to the depths of your pain, but it is also fun, creative and full of joy if you allow it 💜 As I set the intention for the next 12 months to call in a healthy and abundant romantic relationship I'm truly feeling the benefits of doing the inner work. The gift was always in the pain. I have through my abuse experience learned to love more deeply, support and help others and become the best version of myself! As the saying goes the only life long relationship that you'll ever have is the one you have with yourself 💜✨🙏🏻 Happy Valentines Day lovers ❤️ #valentinesday2019 #love #relationships #selflove #selfempowerment #relationshipcoach #perthcoach #lifecoach #breakthrough #abundance #shifts #internal #transformation #healing #lifeafternarcissisticabuse #codependency #gratitude #feelings #emotions #release #limitingbeliefs #dreams #values #mindset #positivevibes #conscious #awaken #believe #valueyourself
Yesterday I sat down and recorded two new podcast episodes! It was my 4th attempt at recording my 2018 Reflections episode and it finally worked 🙏🏻✨ talk about needing to surrender and practice non attachment this year 🙈 this year I've already had a few experiences where I've been called to deepen my practice with this and it's the 15th Jan 🤣✨anyhow in my 2018 Reflections episode I discuss this idea that we need to remember we are not our past. It's important to look back at where we were in comparison to where we are at now but getting stuck in the past is not going to help us move forward. In life we are always growing and changing and if we apply the same mindset of who we used to be we can easily get stuck in a victim mindset which ultimately hinders are growth. Yes the past has shaped who we are today but we are not limited to that version of ourselves. We must consciously choose to stay in the present to create our future from a place of clarity and empowerment 💜✨ that's the game my friends and it's so so rewarding if you choose to play 🙏🏻✨
Happy Monday lovers! 👯✨ The community has been growing recently and I'm so grateful to have you here 🙏🏻 some of you may not know my story and so I wanted to share with you how I got to doing the work I do now 💜 I've worked in the corporate world for a few years now. I spent 6 years in the hotel industry, as well as other large companies. I also used to be a primary school teacher for a short time and transitioned into the coaching world about 4 years ago now 😅I spent time as a health coach, mental and emotional wellbeing coach before transitioning into Narcissistic abuse recovery coaching after navigating my own healing and recovery from an emotionally abusive relationship. That experience was the catalyst to waking up to my pain and led me down the road of learning about personality disorders, family of origin work, trauma, emotional and mental recovery from abuse, addictions as well as understanding the spiritual journey of abuse. My absolute passion is using personal development teachings to help navigate and understand the healing and recovery process of abuse and trauma and guide women through the journey to self discovery 🙏🏻 I love sharing my perspectives and teachings and have a podcast where I explore all facets of Narcissistic abuse recovery. I also run a support group for women where I focus of healing, self empowerment and education to help women move forward from abuse. I believe that if we focus on the lessons of our experiences in life not only does life become more joyful and abundant but we also learn how to navigate the challenging and difficult times in our life with more ease and clarity. I feel so honoured to empower women to own their story, heal their limiting beliefs and create a life they love after abuse ☺️🙏🏻
Such a magical weekend 💜✨ this week has been the first week in at least 4 months where I've felt well enough to have a daily movement practice. It's been a very frustrating journey getting my health back on track but it feels so good to finally be able to enjoy movement again 🙏🏻 I started Jungle Body again on Saturday and loved the workout with @thejunglebodsquad 👯 dancing as exercise is seriously fun 😜👌🏻 I also went for some big walks in nature which just felt amazing. So glad to be back moving again and healing my body ✨ 2019 is shaping up to be a great year 🙏🏻💜 hope you had an amazing weekend 😃
This time last week I was driving back to Perth from an amazing 2 weeks back home ☺️🙏🏻 after a stressful Nov/Dec I was so ready for a couple of weeks of sunshine, beach and mums cooking 😜 I spent lots of time relaxing, did some baking of my fav German treats, played with Bailey (the dog 🐶) and but probably annoyed him more than anything 🤣🙈🤷🏼‍♀️ we drank celery juice every morning and sat outside while collecting fresh raspberries and blueberries from mum and dads home grown bushes 😍 we also went to Denmark and visited my fav @lakehousedenmark (annual tradition) 👌🏻 visited the Field of Light Avenue of Honour exhibition (highly recommend going to see it if you're in Albany) and got in as many coffees and Mary's baking at @thenakedbeancoffeeroasters 😜👌🏻so ready to making 2019 a magical year 😍💜✨
I love love! 💜✨ but one of the most painful lessons we learn from Narcissistic abuse is that not everyone we meet and may fall in love with has our best intentions at heart. I'm not saying this to sound negative, to make you fearful or not to trust others again...but I am saying please have discernment 🙏🏻 for many of us empaths, not only do we feel everything so deeply, we also love and feel for others very deeply. I believe it's one of our gifts - it really is our superpower ☺️ but this doesn't mean we should just give our love or energy out to others freely 🤔 living aligned to our core values, self respect and having boundaries are all self protective and powerful tools to embody that will help you navigate life and relationships with others. You are worthy.
You are are loveable.
And you deserve healthy and amazing love 💜
Living in your joy doesn't have to be hard ✨ But it does take awareness and self reflection 💜 Life after abuse can be really challenging and recovery can feel like a lifetime of work. But for me it's been about navigating this journey with as much awareness as possible and learning every single possible lesson 🙈 One of the most powerful things I have learnt on this journey (although there are many) is asking myself great questions. As the saying goes "the quality of your life is dependent on the quality of your questions". Ask yourself what makes my heart sing? What makes my cells come alive?? How can I infuse joy and pleasure into the simplest moments?
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For me it's drinking herbal tea in bed with a piece (or two of dark chocolate 🤣), listening to a podcast while cooking👌🏻, driving on the open country road listening to my favourite music 🎶, dancing in the kitchen when I'm cleaning, taking some deep breaths while meditating and laying in a park watching the clouds float by 🌥Those moment to me really are the simplest but happiest moments 🙏🏻
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#love #relationships #selflove #selfempowerment #relationshipcoach #perthcoach #lifecoach #breakthrough #abundance #shifts #internal #transformation #healing #letgo #lifeafternarcissisticabuse #codependency #gratitude #personaldevelopment #feelings #emotions #release #limitingbeliefs #dreams #values #mindset #positivevibes #conscious #awaken #believe #valueyourself
I love the energy of a new year 😍The energy always feels lighter and more expansive. I get excited by all the possibilities and opportunities we get to call in 🙏🏻 for me 2018 was a big year 😱 The energy was big, the lessons were big and the growth and emotions were big 🌪 2018 confirmed for me that I can do whatever I set my mind and heart on but the missing piece for me was not letting my aspirations affect my mental and physical health 😱 by the end of last year i got so sick I had to let go of commitments, surrender and sit in the discomfort of the result of what was pretty bad burn out. My stress levels were so high it triggered my anxiety and panic attacks which I hadn't had for years, my chronic fatigue flared up and I was in constant pain 😰 my physical symptoms were definitely a sign that I had taken on way too much and also totally let my self care slide. .
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For me 2019 is all about leaning into health and feeling my most radiant self 💜✨ I've already ramped up my self care and am setting more routines and boundaries around things that I truly let slide last year 🙈 this year I'm choosing more rest, more fun, more laughter, more plants, more joy, more presence and less goals and to do's.
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The challenge for me this year will be learning how to look after myself better, doing more by doing less and making sure that I'm emotionally and physically at my best so that I can continue to teach and support women too 🙏🏻✨
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For more reflections on 2018 you can read my latest post by clicking the link in my bio 💜
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What are you choosing more of this year? ☺️💜✨
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#reflections #selfcare #emotions #narcabuse #narcissisticabuserecovery #healing #growth #freedom #joy #play #journey #newyear #nature #selflove #breakthrough #radiance #glow #healingchronicfatigue #intentions #consciousliving #discernment #energy #power #innerstrength #choice
✨Breaking the Cycle of Toxic Relationships Workshop✨ .
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On Sunday I held my first interstate workshop in Melbourne ☺️ .
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Incredibly grateful to all the women who attended 💜 I'm so passionate about helping women uncover and cultivate their self worth to allow them to embody a new way of being and to create a health relationship with themselves and others. .
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Also thanks to Trudy from @themovingroom  for allowing me to use her wonderful studio. Was the perfect space for us to connect and connect in circle ☺️🙏🏻
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I'll be running this workshop in Perth before the end of the year with a new and varied format. I also have plans for more travel to the east coast next year where I'll bringing this workshop to Sydney and potentially Brisbane. Keep your eyes peeled for dates to be released very soon via my events page.
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http://www.afeelinglife.com/events/
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💜 J x
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#workshop #melbourneworkshop #toxicrelationships #narcissisticabuse #narcissiticabuserecovery #healing #growth #love #compassion #embodimentpractice #innerhealing #personaldevelopment #melbourne #relationshipcoach #perthcoach #recovery #anxiety #mentalhealth #breakdown #breakthrough #support #encouragment #inspo #selflove #selfworth #selfesteem
So I recently celebrated my 30th birthday 🎉 and to mark the occasion I wrote a post with 30 of the biggest life lessons I've learned so far 😊 These are just some of the most powerful things I've learned 💜
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✨having a growth mindset in life will challenge you AND reward you
✨love hard and love fiercely but be discerning who you share your love with ✨trust has to be earned and is not just given freely ✨how you do anything is how you do EVERYTHING ✨be open to change it will catapult you forward in life like nothing else ✨be vulnerable - people will love you for it .
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Do these resonate with you? How has life impacted you? And what lessons have YOU learned?
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To read the rest of my lessons just click the link in my bio ☺️
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#innerhealing #transformation #energy #spiritual #coaching #perthcoach #lifecoach #healing #love #gratitude #pain #suffering #hope #breakthroughs #perth #supportgroup #abundance #gratitude #love #healing #energy #freedom #breakthrough #relationshipcoach #newage #progress #strong #personaldevelopment #selflove
Birthday week has begun! 😃💃🏻 maybe the big 3-0 won't be so bad 😜🙈 .
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#birthday #celebrate #innerhealing #transformation #energy #spiritual #coaching #perthcoach #lifecoach #healing #love #gratitude #hope #breakthroughs #perth #supportgroup #abundance #gratitude #love #healing #energy #freedom #breakthrough #relationshipcoach #personaldevelopment #selfesteembuilding #selflove
MELBOURNE I'M COMING FOR YOU 😍💃🏻 I've just released tickets for my upcoming events in Melbourne in October! I'll be running 1:1 session, Narcissistic abuse recovery support meetups and I'm super excited about my 5 hour workshop immersion all about how to break free from toxic relationships 🙌🏻💜 it's been a labour of love putting this together and I cannot wait to explore this juicy topic with you all 🙈 for all the ticket details just click the link in my bio 😊
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#relationshipsexposed #selfesteem #awareness #expression #personalhealing #foundations #journey #relationshipadvice #confidence #supportgroup  #emotionaltorture #nuture #feelings #lovelife #hope #strong #energy #manipulation #expression #positivevibes #feelings #selfesteem #expression #perthcoach #findpeace #codependency #melbourneworkshops #narcabuse #narcabuserecovery

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